Life as Normal

Hi there! I'm back again. Don't have much updates with regards to "art". I live like a "normal" person everyday because I have to, that's why. This is much better than before at least. There are times I used to contemplate and think of things what this world could bring. I've waited for so long, and now it's here... I don't wanna lose it again, not anymore. I'll do what I can to keep it safe here with me. I won't give up again, I'm tired to be weak. Each day is a blessing and I thank God for everything, even if it's pain, happiness or whatever. Everything happens with a reason. Though pain means suffering, still it's desirable, at least you know something's wrong. Today, I work my ass just what I've said here before, I'm gonna work like a fucking machine 'til I get what I always want in my life. Whenever I see people who do whatever they want, people who afford to buy everything, I feel like I have to do something better. I know that some say money isn't everything, it can't buy happiness... but I think sometimes it's wrong. Money for me is my neccessity, it can buy those things that could make me happy and satisfied. And I realized it's not easy to have it on your pocket. Unlike other people who could do whatever they want because they're rich, I'm not able to be like them right now. I work not only for myself but because of my small company also, and that's my family. But we Filipinos, it's normal with our culture. I wasn't raised by my parents as an independent person, but the truth is I want to be independent. But not for now, I have some little obligations to do and it's fine with me. As long as there's a camera beside me, my world is complete. Hahaha:)

By the way, some activities I did were shown in these pictures. I have to learn something valuable and at the same time, very useful. I've met some new normal people and it's good for me. But again, it's hard to find some friends who could really understand me and those things I love. And before I forgot, I went to Ukay-ukay and you know what? I've found a cap, worn by sailormen and policemen, yeah... that's how it looked like when I saw it. But unfortunately I didn't buy it because I don't have enough money. But damn, within this week I'm gonna get it and no one could stop me. I really want to buy it so I'm going back there. It reminded me of one of Ryutaro Arimura's pictorials, and you know what's on my mind? Yep. That would be the concept of one of my pictorials soon, so stay tuned.

Closet Child

Here is Lovesick Anorexic again. Can't relate with other 'normal' people, and it's not okay. Sometimes my head is in the clouds, contemplating. Hoping while still breathing. When I look up into the sky, I know something exists out there, waiting for me to find it. Come, come... cover me and let's share our little secrets.




~ Witch. Can't get it out from my head ~

Busy

Nothing much these past few weeks, why was that? I'm working my ass I finally found a job as well as my sister, and that's the reason why I couldn't post about updates here. That's all for now. I don't know yet when to make new photos but damn, I'm gonna to have another one soon. Just wait for it. Well, aside from this job I'm talking about, by the end of this month will be my beloved mother's 3rd death anniversary. I still couldn't believe she's forever gone now. I miss her soo much and hope that time would come for me to see her again. So there. That's all for now.

Life Is A Plastic World

Woohoo! My world is spinning, round and round... Fuck You World!

What A Wonderful, Plastic World

So to start this post, I wanna tell you that these photos aren't 'official'. I cut my hair again because Sho Asakawa made me do it. Lol:-) I'm preparing myself to make precious photos, but right now I don't have enough time to do it. I need to buy more props and make new stuffs to produce different kind of concept. After more than two years of blogging I've learned a lot from my own experiences and other people's ideas about art. And also, I can't wait to hear the new single of Plastic Tree to be released this February. I miss my alter ego, Ryutaro. Just wait for me okay? I'm gonna bring my ass there in Japan to see you live on stage. You're one of my inspiration and I'm so grateful that I had the chance to listen to your awesome music. Keep it up, Prince of Darkness! So far, this blog and Tumblr are some of my virtual activities. I love posting photos on my Tumblr and I fuckin' mean it. Actually I had an annoying experience on Tumblr (just wanna share it with you, strangers), there's this Tumblr user that reblogged a photo I uploaded last time and she wrote a comment that said 'It's not my photo so I shouldn't be posting it'. To tell you people, I DON'T REBLOG OTHER PEOPLE'S PHOTOS and I don't even follow back because I wanna be fair to myself. I don't need other's consent if I should upload something or not. This is a virtual world where everything is almost public. Who are you to tell me not to post it? Are you nuts? Are you the one who took that photo? Are you some kind of producer? Nope. You just downloaded it and edit it on your Photoshop. You're just like everyone else, like me, a free user who is free to do whatever I want as long as I'm not violating any kind of laws. But if you feel pissed off because of your childish drama, then get lost and mind your own business. Anyway, she looked ridiculous posting that comment and I was laughing my ass out;-) So beware! I'm an open-minded type of person who accept feedbacks but not negative criticism. I don't usually mind if you hate what I do or not. As much as possible I wanna live here peacefully but if you're some kind of asshole who wanna try hurting what I'm trying to protect, then I'm ready for a war. I just came from a slumber of depression so don't dare to waste a drop of sweat trying to terrorize me. Have a nice fuckin' day to all of you.

These are just some of our chekis: Mejibray's Tsuzuku, Koichi, Mia and Meto.
And also Ryutaro Arimura and Sho Asakawa.



Okay, that's all for now. I'll update more next time but tonight, I'm going to watch Ichi the Killer because I've been watching this for a long time but actually had no time finishing it. Sure this is gonna be fun and gory. I salute you, Takashi Miike.

Life isn't a Gloomy Sunday...

Nothing much. Next time I'll try to make another photoshoot so just stay tuned:)

I created this blog to shelter all that is sacred to me. This is the place where my photos, photography, my emotions, thoughts, poems and other writings linger. I use my body to show the two sides of the face of art, both ugly and beautiful. I am being murdered by the vile and perverse world of reality so instead I choose to stay on the virtual side of my life.

If my thoughts had blood, I would show you... my soaking hands, the crimson liquid that drips down my battered shoulders unto the skin that clothes my naked breasts. Lift my hair so you can see the stains in my ears and kiss you with my bloated lips.

The Shadow Makes Sense...

I would like to thank this Tumblr blog where the name Sho Asakawa liked this photo of mine. ARIGATOU!


Yeah! Beware of this escaped inmate here:) I'll make more, next time. Tomorrow I'm gonna be busy for sure. It's the first day of my job so wish me luck.

Jellyfish In My Head

UnderBlack, Ultimate Come Back of a Lovesick Anorexic.

These photos were taken yesterday, January 9th of my Dragon year. Believe me, after I finished washing all the laundry, I went to shower and took a bath. Though it was exhausting, I went to my 'dungeon room' and started putting make up on my face. I was soo inspired by Plastic Zooms, Sho. I'm grateful to know that he has a Blogger account also. Hmmm... why not Ameblo? Anyway, I thought there's no more way to do this thing. I need to satisfy my body starvation with my Pictorial Vitamin. It's the only way to somehow lessen the pain I've felt for these past few days. I hated it when there's so much pressure. I thought I was gonna die because of my depression. Don't bother asking me 'bout it. I won't tell y'all. What is important for me is to accept things and put an end to what troubles me. I know I can do it. I know, despite of problems in my life, I have to look on the brighter side 'cause it's a mean wonderful world. Don't be scared. It's normal to feel afraid, everybody feels the same way too. I know what hurts me is only in my head. It's me against myself. I hope everything will be just fine. So there.

It's driving me crazy, crazy, crazy...




~ Insomniac anorexiaC ~

~ Liquid Reverie ~

I've felt I've done something...
wicked.
You cannot survive the intimacy
And no! I can't even label it.
I sleep on its blanket of poisonous wet indulgence
celebrating forbidden silence.
I became one of them...
the depraved
on the sly, sex-starved hypocrite
the same little self-righteous weak lunatic.
Was it normal?
Or was it immoral?
If it is a sinful architecture soiling my brain
then who will consume the soaking plague 'til it drains?
Someone...
wake me up!

Med

Here you can see, my photos during the medical examination of my sister. I was with her that time. Nothing much to say. I don't know what else to post for the next days. Just stay tuned. Let's see.

Job Hunting

Last Wednesday, me and my sister went to Eastwood to find a job... actually I just came there to support my sister because she's the one waiting for that job call. We arrived there at 3 in the afternoon and guess what? We finished around 11 in the evening. It was exhausting, waiting there for hours. But anyway, it's worth waiting because she passed the interviews and examinations and this January, it's the start of her work. Congratulations sis!


Yep. This was the cheapest place to eat, at Mcdo.


Sunako here, looked very tired but still kicking:)

Under Black, ultimate Prince of Darkness

I told yah, this year won't end without another photoshoot. And yes! I'm here again inspired by Ryutaro of Plastic Tree and Sho of Plastic Zooms. (Lots of Plastic haha) The place seemed quite during the pictorial and so I enjoyed taking photos, I would like to give again my thanks to my one and only photographer, my sister:) And once again, I wanna inform you that my old photos cannot be viewed by public and by my friends. I don't want to show them anymore because just what I posted here before, I felt sick about the outcomes of my amateur-ISH photos. So if you're a bit interested of my works, go check them out on my photos section here on my blog.



Model Sunako (http://abrutalfact.tumblr.com)
Hair and Make up Ris Zourdhik
Photography Ris Zourdhik
Eye patch Ris Zourdhik



The making of oh dolly-dolly photoshoot.


Me and my sister here...





Lovesick in the Air :-)


Hey! How did I get there?!


Ala Ryutaro? Ala Sho? Hmm...


and here's Sho Asakawa, another picture I made.

So there. Another year passed, Sayonara 2011, the year of the plague in my life. I hated it! My life back then, everything seemed dull and depressive. I want to change everything. I want to do something new and meaningful, something I can be proud of.